Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Granddads, family ethics, HiltonPerez

salut to my granddad buddies. saw my long time friend Larry on the street yesterday. He is now a grandfather! I love it! the generations!

salut also to Hilton Perez in questioning the beauty pageant contestant. I tire of people giving condescending ideas on the matter. A person could simply say her opinions are personal. I have students endlessly ask my opinion on everything. I tell them that my opinion is not important. In fact, my opinion could confuse the situation at times. The importance is to be respectful of other people. The challenge is for people to understand the basis for their opinion. Teaching family ethics, we discuss same sex marriage, marriage, adultery, decision to have children.... I love witnessing the students explore the issues.. many times writing about issues in the first disciplined manner. I grade not on the particular view necessarily, but that they use ideas referenced in the texts as well as in our class discussions. That the students at least show some the ability to write about an issue that someone can understand (no hierogyphics thank you)!

The students critiqued my youtube video on my Mom... "remembering our Mom" at my profMike spot on YouTube. Fascinating comments but also interesting to see how people often just assume. My Mom had a life and a complexity. She may be blessed now that she is in "heaven" but she was actively engaged in the issues of her time.. up thru 2006! She loved Obama!

I dont get into the personal issues of my Mom as it is my own subjectivity. She is not around to answer any "charges". Personal issues are that, and the lenses change in context/time. Friends have a range of ideas on issues including gay marriage. Gay friends who cannot fathom why they should get married to hetero friends who are upset as they have never been invited to any gay marriages. I gave $5 today to a young Dad for his daughter's first birthday party! he is not married to the baby's Mother but such a pleasure to see them together with the baby! And that baby... such a joy! A Pentecostal friend just sent a prayer to be prayed and then sent to 12 others.. a Pentecostal friend who is gay and living with his civil union partner. (i love the requests and it is a good prayer, but i dont send these chain letters anymore). People have complexity in their lives.. there are endless ways to think about life!

The religious perspective is one lens, there are civic and moral lenses as well. Theology does not necessarily equal morality. In parts of the world a man can be polygamous yet a married woman is still be stoned to death for being around an unrelated adult male (not even sleeping with him).

Over time I find it interesting how ideas have changed. For instance, abortion was so often adamantly supported in the 1970s in a time when people remembered when abortions were illegal. Women died from illegal abortions. Nowadays I also have to remind some students that all gays are not lovely people wanting to get married. There are civil union dissolutions and I know many a nasty person gay/lesbian/whatever.

The contestant was condescending as her views are irrelevant. I think PerezHilton's question was good as it asked her level of sophistication on the issue. Of course, all these issues are selective. The former Vice President has a daughter who is in a samel sex civil union and is co-parent with her same sex partner. The Bush twins went to a host of same sex weddings. Gay male couples slept together in the George W Bush WhiteHouse. The political posturing has a whole hypocrisy to it.

I believe much of what goes on is also becoming familiar with changes in the politic. People have many more choices in life. One of the security officers at my building is transgender. I rarely see the person but know the officer was upset about using wrong pronouns when being addressed. I dont know what pronoun this person expects, I just use "officer"...

and my buddy Larry the new grandfather is involved in m2m relationships. i never asked about the mother of his daughter, whether his daughter knows.... his daughter loves him is all I know. it was just a delight to hear Larry talk about the joy in his granddaughter!

peace, hugs, compassion

No comments: