Monday, October 28, 2013

Goodbye Dad.. RIP as I pray and will always love ya

RIP for my/our Dad this morning. He died at 4am, at age 86. A brother and I visited on Friday at the hospice. He had a strong will and it was a long goodbye with his Alzheimer's. My sympathy and love for us siblings, family, caregivers and friends

Our Dad died on 21 October which is the feast day for the relatively obscure Saint Viator. My Mom's paternal family literally built that parish.. donated stained glass, parish councils, an Aunt and an Uncle worked at the church. My parents were married at Saint Viator's in August, 1953.. 60 years ago. — at Saint Viator Roman Catholic Church

Good morning 22 October. Thanks for the sympathies.. it means a lot. I didnt sleep well; a brother phoned as he is fighting with everyone where he lives; I know it must be devastatingly final for some of my sisters. We will always love our Dad and thank him for doing the best he could. A tough time. My neighbors are kind.. chats, especially with one of the fathers whose 2 boys were born in Park Ridge, IL. We have had so many chats about Park Ridge in the basement cafe in Newark, NJ. Watched Palm Springs videos and got bored, so... dunno.. back to carpe diem! thanks and hugs to all

In the last year of our Dad, we went from 9 chldren to 8 after the death of our sister Mary. Mary pretty much became the center of the family and outreached to all of us siblings. After her death in August, 2012, our Dad began a pronounced decline. My sister died after a long illness but David Sedaris has a poignant story of his family. So many similiarities! Love the story!

Judith Butler is brilliant on the nuances of Benjamin.. the messianic qua revolutionary spark crystallized when oppressed history breaks out of the banal normal of history. Thunderclap Newman 1969.. the revolution is here and we/i believed it was.. we knew it was right to blast out and get it together now, jetzt! Thanksgiving 2011 at Occupy Newark.. another zeitgeist when what we were doing was right in a moment of pregnant messianic possibility! In a small way, being with my brother and Dad in the hospice, an awareness of DAD's lifespan, crystallization of death, and the reality of jetzt in life. I was there in the messianic but....

A beautiful sympathy card from some of my neighbors, given to me. Over the past year I had frequently talked about having my Dad visit with me here.. the elevator, store, transit, ease of being here. He would have enjoyed the attention here. I am touched by the kindness and remembering, Thanks so much.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Death of an inspiration at age 30

Prayers for neighbors.. one of my favorite neighbors just died in the hospital, her things still at home, from very aggressive cancer. She was about 30years, so dynamic. I loved chatting with her about her dreams in life... she came from Jamaica to study to be an industrial interior designer. Another neighbor in rehab, very similiar diagnosis to mine. I remember crawling on the floor unable to walk, i had zero benefits, had to work or be in a shelter or dead. It is a tough plight and gave my big support to his wife. (juxtaposed with the stupidity and judgmental attitudes one oft hears on health). TY universe for my being here to hear their stories and teach these in many venues. I am a tough person with a focused will oft from the love and inspiration of people who fought to get out of poverty or terror and all to make our world better. In NYC, I have known many dynamic people, good mentors, but mostly an older def privileged world. In Newark, I have known so many dynamic people creating in the real world where one may not have money to eat, or pay their rent late, yet still bringing smiles and joy daily to our lives. om mani padma hung for such a brilliant mensch. Video of those inspiring me in my year I willed me to walk again; photos of my world 2007-08. My neighbor who just died was a true inspiration

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Happy Birthday to me! Yeah! Hurrah!

Reading a prior post of mine this 2013 birthday. Family relationships and concerns have become so forefront. Visits and time with Dad these past two years.  His situation is so changed now; he has a full time caregiver. A brother and I last visited him three weeks ago. Since 2011,  a sister visited Dad almost daily but she died a year ago. The sweep of time is fast and final. Phoned Dad today, he was sleeping but had a good weekend road trip to the Catskills, per his caregiver. Remembering that this is the feast day of the Guardian Angels.

Happy Birthday to me!

"The highlight of my 2011 birthday is probably my phone convo with Dad (who will be age 85 in December)! Talking, I thought whoa I have a whole lifetime until I reach his age. I have my history, his, as well as ideas on the future! Dad and I chatted about him being my age today! He was thinking of retirement and of course living with his wife, my Mom. He has survived her almost 5 years now! He is alert, asked me good questions, sounds great!

A sister cellphoned me from their lunch on her visit to him in rural NJ. thank you! I am grateful to the universe to hear Dad tell me he loves me, the first of his nine children. Photo of him holding me some 50something years ago!" 2 October 2011