9/11/2012: Remembering 9/11/2001

For several years one of the first discussions in all of my NYC college classes was "What were you doing on 9/11?" as all of us were here that day. Have always had firefighters, hospital workers, first responders in my classes. Several of my Methods of Research student teams wrote brilliant proposals to do research on the ptsd of 9/11 survivors. Bonding in my Newark building with other residents; the store owner, in particular who we would ask to update us on those neighbors one had not seen. One such neighbor in a daze for months from the horror of having walked through the MerrylLynch WorldPlaza and dodging people jumping from the WTC towers. I remember the weeks of falling asleep to the BBC or CNN coverage of the aftermath to hear the names of those who had died. The horror on seeing a former co-worker whose fiance, a Citibank employee, never got out of the towers. Remembering the first train trip into NYC a few days post 9/11 and everyone looked out the window to see the rising plume of smoke in what used to be the WTC in the skyline. Photo: one of my conte crayon drawings from Pier 51, West St, WTC in distance.

Post Labor day "summer" fast pastels

Rainyday fast sketchs in da building store.. #90, 91 and #92.
#90 Los Arboles.. loved looking and sketching the shapes and colours in those trees this summer! Newark can be so lush.. certainly Branch Brook Park!

#91 Rain.. started with a fast sketch of a woman walking but couldnt figure out how to finish. She reminded me of my talk with a neighbor about the harrassment of Muslim women at an amusement park recently.. being denied rides if one wore the hajib. Dunno but outrageous harrassment, certainly a host of law suits to come. Maybe the drawing is just an angel...

#92 Remembering 2001. Somehow the work reminded me of the monolith in Kubrick's Space Odyssey 2001, and then the realization that 2001 was also the tenth anniversary of 9/11/01. Our new world reality, post 9/11.
Finally thought about the ending to the summer drawings now that it is post LaborDay. Looking for a regular social work opportunity (will teach part time). I also need to be around more social workers as the current political climate is so outrageous. Amazing that the Republican nihilists are so intent on getting rid of our first AfricanAmerican President, roll back social rights, and destroy the economy for the enrichment of the oligarchs.

Colours fantastique

More summer fast sketches!

#48 pastel; Love, Newark NJ; 2 Aout 2011. colours fantastique! Thoughts for my neighbor talking about his wife in the ER, their son upstairs with the babysitter. Hoping all turns out well! Always enjoy the tales of their family! Sometimes run into them strolling about midtown!

and to the right:

#47 pastel; Aout2, Newark NJ; 2 Aout 2011. colours fantastique. I would name it "Daphne's wings" for my neighbor who sat next to me whilst I drew... inspiring me.. but I name signed it already.

An inspiring day talking with 5 other neighbors.. stopping by to see what I am drawing today! Priceless! Thanks much!

mid july thoughts

perfect swim day! hoy hablando con mi vecinos, comiendo comida Espanol, cada dia un nueva experiencia en la playa Newark! Soy allegro con este Juli! Today the muscle guys were grabbing at me.. damn this one-legged guy had the grip of a super wrench! I am oft the big guy but he could have just tossed me the length of da pool!

2011 Santa Barbara 19 July; Santa Dominga 20 July; Newark pastels. #34, #35. my Yoruba African priest neighbor is moving.. one of da best neighbors for 11 years+. Not the African deities invoked but somehow my fast drawings took on images/faces of Chango et Obtala.

the basketball tourney is playing excellent Michael Jackson music pre-game and breaks tonight! Damn nothing like music in da hood these hot sweaty nights!

happy Birthday Walter Benjamin

Happy Birthday Walter Benjamin! one of the major intellectual influences to my being! the epistemology, montage, paradigms.. his writings with Gershom Scholem, Georges Bataille, Bertolt Brecht. I so love the Passagenwerk.. Paris Arcades! I am forever obsessed with his visions, and probably just the romance of his life.. Paris, Berlin.. to the never forgetting of his dreadful death fleeing the Gestapo.



2011, 15 juli, Newark NJ; summer girls, pastel #29; Boyz sit, pastel #30.
Da young ladies & gents sitting at separate picnik tables today... we older people all commented.. maybe the Full Buck Moon this gorgeous Newark summer afternoon!

Sparks of the divine

2011, 13 Juli; Newark NJ; sparks of the divine; pastel; #28.

Turned out lights and put colours to paper to capture the gorgeous forms/colours/spirit in the vista from my apartment window. Newark is sometimes just so damn gorgeous.. tonight made me think of divine beauty. Also thoughts of Walter Benjamin as almost his birthday!

Trees of Life

"Trees of Life": 2011, 12 Juli; Newark NJ; pastel; #27 in my 2011 ete drawing series.

Sat to draw next to a Christian cult missionary who was opinionated and bossy as usual, an oft evil nature, at first. Decided to really focus on creativity and positives... the result a "Trees of Life".

Later thinking of Walter Benjamin and "sparks of life". I searched in my Scholem Kabbalah text and found text on the inherent goodness in the tree of life! A juxtaposition as well as synchronicity? Dunno. Not that I am trying to draw good but I am focused on the creative in all work that I do.

Oster, April 1990 Vierwaldstatter See, CH

happy Easter! Photos from 1990... boat ride on the Vierwaldstatter See from Luzern to Burgenstock and back. What a good trip with my Zurich amigos!

impossible to answer but tried to give a list of my favorite books on a site..... so many favorite books. as a college professor I have spent 30plus years reading, recommending, creating curriculum. A recent favorite is Istanbul, by Pamuk! Wow such history, perspective, a good story of growing up! Prior to that was Pankuj Mishra's An End to Suffering. (I am such a NYReview of Books junkie).

My all time favorite gay book is Becoming a Man, by Paul Monette! Whoa what a story... the best yet! Another Country by James Baldwin has to be the best NYC novel ever!

my long time favorite social perspectives are by the iconics such as: Richard Hofstadter, C Wright Mills, Peter Gay, bell hooks, Sindiwe Magona, Ann Burack-Weiss all being other Columbia University faculty/grads. Havent read President's Obama's memoir, but as an alum, I instinctively understand his perspectives. (My first college years & degree in art from Brooklyn College and then time at the NY Art Students League, so love Lee Bontecou, Sylvia Stone, Pearlstein...). In the last year or so, I have mostly religiously read endless issues of Art Forum so I am also a bit out of the literary au courant news!

I know a bunch of authors/publishers/editors so biased towards their works. love the Harry Potter series... (no one predicted Arthur would be the publisher! whoa) I wrote a letter to the Diane von Furstenberg crew , they replied with her book! What a fast good read!

love the classics such as Dante, Freud, DW Winnicuit, deTocqueville, Marx, Habermas, James Joyce, Agnes Smedley, Pema Chodron, Georges Simenon!

I am busy working so I am gathering my next reading list... Bolano, Nathalie Serraute.... Every 5 years or so, Ihad a year to just read all who I have to read. in 2002, I read Dante, Saint Augustine, the Tibetan book of living & dying, then James Joyce! I will die before reading it all but maybe I have some clues to the next life..( ?)

hugs, peace, compassion

la vie, Avril 2009

2 folks asked "what do you do allday?"
lol

Getting ready to thankfully just swim at the local pool in less than 90 days!

i teach 2 or 3 courses each semester. They are intense but I love them! It is a blessing to have these classes whatwith the discourse, the essays, their projects to review! Scanned the 1972 Third Year of Women's Liberation" in relation to my family ethics course.

But, I have other skills so I have been looking for a day job but I get stuck as I have only recently progressed since I was poisoned by a bed bug invasion in my apartment (2007). I was last in the hospital for a week in December. I still walk with my cane. It is not as difficult to walk now!

As a social worker, I finally burned out in 2005 from 10 years of working with homeless mentally ill women, then with lesbian/gay high school students, then with HIV patients inhospital ... the NJ years were mostly an affront as I really had had little experience with the corruption, discriminations and indifference so rampant in systems of great stress. There were many really great times but mostly lots of stress, endless work, and then all of the deaths with the AIDS patients. Unlike NYC, I had no supervision, I had more training and expertise than my supervisors. Endless work, do my life, back to work... As someone who teachs research, I am well aware of the indifference of many "professionals" to the knowledge base in our discipline. Emotionally beyond exhaustion, but intellectually fascinating. I have so much depth and breadth from my experiences to share with the students. They drive my idea to write as they love my storytelling.... plus I get to read so many essays and project reports each semester!

400 pages to these memoirs but unhappy with my voice. I write for my own memory.... (a long ago buddy Arthur Levine.. publisher of the Harry Potter series... told me to stop bothering him with my stories! Oh well). I wondered if a colleague who works for George Soros had ideas.. (she just left for her yearly meetings in Sao Paolo, then Nairobi, then Istanbul!) Whoa.. I should be there.. I could swim..... Anyhow, I asked for a job in Mongolia... I dont think she understood the irony as Soros does fund programs in Mongolia. She seemed confused when I then said I was only joking! I actually do like Mongolia as well as Wyoming. I talk about a job in Wyoming with a high school buddy back in Colorado, Randy. The tall urban towers exchanged for the vast expanse! Anyhow, I have also had time to do art projects, photographs. My first degree was in art.. I had a photo account at Citibank. I also followed up with long ago Citibank buddies. I was able to network! Soon, different social work projects started coming in to me.... and then...

In late 2006, my Mom suddenly died. I helped with the State memorial for her. She was thanked for helping those with psychiatric issues. Then dividing up her house... I inherited some money. Reestablishing relationships with siblings I rarely saw before her death. I was feeling physically good and planned to travel, visit friends in Zurich, Berlin, London, Rotterdam and the cote d'azure again. (I use to go to Europe every Easter time). I was poisoned by the renovations in my apartment after bed bug invasions! i walk with my cane as my lungs collapse although I am getting better. I was last in the hospital in December.

So, I am looking for a new day job.. although have to organize my job hunt.. Lots of social work jobs as with the Veterans Admin but I dunno if I can sit all day with the amputees and the psychiatric issues. I cannot do everything anymore! I was up for a job at the VA when my Mom died in 2006. I am also always up for different UN consulting jobs but I keep forgetting to send my CV in time.. they usually post with a 1 or 2 day cutoff. (my doctoral study was at Columbia School of International and Public Affairs).

As usual, I know a lot of people so I get advocacy alerts. Generally press and letter writing. From 1982 to 1992, I did community organizing, then corporate social affairs. In 1983, I was doing 3 radio shows, gave over 250 press interviews, a legislative hearing, advocacy events! From 1986 to 1992, lots of community events, but also the ability to fund local community groups, participate in nonprofit startups, buy tickets to fundraisers. I always have passion about ideas!

Yesterday, I called the White House. Today, phoned various legislators, then trade associations. Advocated on mental health issues, for gay marriage (although I dont know anyone who has even been to one), discussed the new Haitian economic opportunity policy implementations (to create a garment industry). I started fishing to see if others want to have a festschrift for a friend who has done so much community work in NYC/NJ. I always help fundraise for her charity dinners. Lastly, I was advocating for Michelle Obama to come to the NY Council of Fashion Designers' dinner in June! That would be a coup.. Also thought about.... Michelle Obama in DvF at the Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt Memorial Park with the UN backdrop! Wow! I love Michelle Obama! I also love Eleanor Roosevelt!!!

anyhow.. always much to do in life! My Mom had 9 children, 5 grandchildren, a house, a (ex)husband, a job, and then listened to people with mental illness everday! the folks most of us run away from! Most of all, I am lucky to have had time to seriously teach, work on projects, see the world in different ways!

hugs, peace, compassion

Boum por 27 Mars 2009

I felt "Boum" all day... in the low 60s here in "la route NYC enchantee". Played Charles Trenet (1938). Worked on photo montages and other collages. Wondering who the people in this old photo could be. Those who may know are mostly passed on. Could be a maternal great grandfather. I assume taken in Chicago. This great grandfather died in January, 1928. He had 11 children, 4 of whom died within 2 years of birth. My great grandmother was my Mom's favorite and the matriarch for that family. The photo among those in my Mom's collection.

Back to work on Monday after 3 months off. Dunno that I accomplished what I wanted but I think I will have more perspective on that when I get back to teaching Monday. Teaching Ethics and teaching Methods of Research again. Look forward to the class discussions in Ethics and to the student group projects in Research. Back to the NYC walk abouts.. perfect time to be back in the mix. Thankfully missed standing in our long bitter cold winter!

Salut la primavera!
Boum

finalmente Spring!!!

Salut to the new Spring! Me amo la primavera! Heute, the first full dag!
woke up tooo late for the snow shower in the NYC area ayer, but the pandemonium was going on all day! such a cold winter hier!
but later in the day het weer was prima!

my sister in Boston mailed me more green tea.. love it! organized photos and drawings from the past 50 years (and those of my Mom) today. drawings in with photos.. so I separated them at least. Found my really cool Rotterdam poster Vecht voor Vriendschaap! which I thought was stolen when my apartment was painted as it was lost for 2 years until today! thank the universe!
Posted the drawing that I made of my sister in Aout 1977! Emailed it to her today with my big thanks!

just mailed her articles from old 3PennyReview issues. Sent her an article on Bolano and on Nathalie Sarraute.. she will appreciate those articles. Love 3PennyReview but cannot keep all the copies. Also have NYReview of Books, Book Forum, ArtForum, SocialWork.... thankfully there are libraries!

cleaning up the apartment as the State does their every 5 year inspection this week. Just clean up a bit. LOL, my neighbor with psychosis saw me today.. walked by me, grunted, called me "white trash", tossed a piece of paper high in the air at me. It happened so fast and I called out "hey" but then caught myself and added .. "you dropped something".. but otherwise ignored as she goes off in a psychotic rant. Sadly, her meds must be low, or she is drinking and drugging again thus washing out the meds. Dunno if she has a new gun (the others were confiscated last year). She is on parole from throwing acid at another neighbor, so I keep a distance as I have no time for courts, the police, the hospital.. just the sadness of psychosis in people. In her mind, I will always be some wierd object... along with so many others. I feel for her Mother in Brooklyn as she begs people to help her daughter (of course with this person's obsessions I am sure the Mom's neighbors organized to keep her out of their neighborhood!) A sad life albeit dangerous for her and others. but, every April she acts out with me, so another harbinger of the Spring! lol, oh well!

lots of nice tea, good chats with others, finishing my organizing photos/drawings project!

hugs, peace, compassion

het weer maart 09, 2009

great weekend weather but now het weer is rainy again!

scanned a February 1994 sketch (above). late February (20), 1994, Central Park. Sunday weather in the 60s although snow still on the ground. I can remember some of the squishyness of the pathways due to the snow still melting and water collecting as the ground was saturated. Hopping to avoid the deepest puddles. Yet my notebook says 5 guys in shorts (already!!!) A sunny day. A woman was out walking her turtle and letting it get in the snow. Dunno if that turtle is still around.. but I dont know turtle acclimation issues with snow. I do remember live turtles by the Des Plaines river near Park Ridge, IL. So, turtles must survive harsh temps. And my last chat with Bobby Love, famed Mapplethorpe model. Bobby is the suited guy with his zipper open and.... He was living at the Hayden Hall.

The Hayden Hall has probably emptied most of their neighborhood folk. A travel site lists it as a "charming 100room, handsomely decorated, budget-minded, but quality hotel located in the prestigious...." so perhaps some of the "budget-minded" acknowledges the occassional long time hotel tenant still managing to stay there. By 1994, the Upper West Side had pretty much done a good job of gentrification.

peace, hugs, compassion

Turk thoughts March 08, 2009

President Obama is making a brilliant decision to visit Turkey this April after the G20 summit in London! Turkey is one of the countries that I look at in keeping some paradigm about the world. I have known a number of Turks over the years, and I read theorists who see Turkey as that bridge between the Europe and Asia.

1987 pastel of a graduate school friend from Columbia University. She and I would pal around a lot. She came with me to visit my Mom and siblings one holiday. She came to a Citibank company picnic with me one summer. We were residents at the International House. She worked in television. She was one of the political refugees from the Turkish Army coups in the 1970s. She came to NYC from Paris. One of the many who could not go back home. Dunno what happened to her... she moved to Queens and we lost touch.

This past year I read Orhan Pamuk's Istanbul! Wow, such a fascinating read! A book I lived through, looking up references online, looking at my own memories in other ways. A fascinating book.

From my SIPA days, I have thought about the end of the Ottoman empire and the absence of a muslim political entity in international politics. The Ottoman empire was cut up into pretend nations by the European powers after WWI. Today we have nations such as Iraq, almost 100 years old, part of the Ottoman empire for centuries, and still the power vacuum. The whole mideast and the Muslim world does not have that power it had as an international broker for centuries. We have yet, as a world community, to figure that power gap out. Today, we have Iran versus Saudi Arabia, orthodox versus modernists say in Lebanon, and the sad legacy of no resolution for Palestine.

I think it quite astute that Open Society aka the Soros Fund, has an office in Istanbul. Turkey plays a significant role by its years of brokering as a NATO member and part of other multinational relationships. Not only the Ottoman legacy, but also the years of Turkish emigration in the EU. The Turk presence particularly in Holland and Germany. I am quite pleased by Obama's decision!

peace, hugs, compassion