"Morning", 5am Pines Pavillion murder?

hello morning!

listened to Money Safari yesterday on the new Detected post. and a host of 5am dancing thoughts.  https://soundcloud.com/defectedrecords/defected-in-the-house-radio-09614-guest-mix-monkey-safari


this am had this 5am dream:
by the bar with a buddy, wonderful songs.. two in a row.. unknown to me, one pure diva.
it seems an argument at the DJ box Someone in back going through whatever, the DJ seems arguing in the front of the box to get out. Me and my buddy say maybe it is a robbery.

The security nutjob with a gun at my building is there, overhears us and lets out two shots over the heads of all. People are leaving in the lightening up presunrise, the noise level is still loud.

The shooter leaves and we go up to the booth.

The DJ disappears through the back exit of the booth. The alleged robber has a huge mustache and carries a huge bag. He is saying the DJ is "gone". My buddy thinks.. "dead" so phones the Brookhaven LI police.  The booth empties out and we are now asking "Was there any murder, really?"

Dante et Jung, revisited

celebrating the birth of Dante... 21 May 1265

some of my thoughts that I have been drafting on Dante to date:

in current reading of Dante I note the "shades" in Dante and "the shadow" in Jung. Always loved Jung's Mysterium on alchemy and noticed Dante cites the "vessel".. writing in that critical gnostic era of the Holy Grail. Havent read Dante in ten years and my first thought was of Walter Benjamin.. connections/references/meanings. poets of history

DANTE:

b 1265, d1321

Dante a Guelf, of Pope, versus Ghibelline, of Emperor

Commedia set Easter 1300 (Jubilee Year, 1300)

-read Nov/Dec, 2000 post Sarfatti-

 INFERNO

Canto I: amazing statement in the woods..
savage animals

II with Virgil....start

“Amor mi mosse, che mi fa parlare,” “love has moved me, and makes me speak.” ahh to fall asleep with the universal thoughts of Dante moving in my head.. c'es magnifique 
identity: Paul or Aeneas? Jung personality 1 or personality 2?  
the divided will

Canto III to Hell, met Charon

Canto IV the unbaptised; Monsters @ each circle entry.

pre First  of Hell still light, quiet.

Reading Dante "Comedy" again.. thank you Pope Francis, no doubt those in the first circle of hell should all be in heaven now!

Canto V 2 o yet first, illicit love re: Boethius

Canto VI 3o Gluttons, in cold, rain & snow.

Canto VII 4o Avarice: weights crush down on each other;

Anger -smiting each other dark & marshy;

Fortune.
http://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2013/11/18/recapping-dante-canto-7-or-hell-by-the-numbers/

dramatic not lucid dream of Newark as zeitgeist of the American city

just awake from a dramatic dream.. explanatory although I hope not lucid (prophecy). a bricolage: the intricacies of families, generations, community ties, networks and individuals here in my building (the ethnography of 562 apartments approaching 60 years in operation). A sweep of American history, sort of a Simon Schama tale in Newark (although Newark has Phillip Roth). Newark is the history of Jews in the United States, as well as Italians, African Americans and today Africans. A milieu of Amiri Baracka and the creative energies and possiblities of hiphop, house, music and art in Newark. Catholics in America. A diversity of lgbt homosexualities both in history and au courant. Beauty, meaning, intrigue, depth, zeitgeist, what a dream!  

Death of an inspiration at age 30

Prayers for neighbors.. one of my favorite neighbors just died in the hospital, her things still at home, from very aggressive cancer. She was about 30years, so dynamic. I loved chatting with her about her dreams in life... she came from Jamaica to study to be an industrial interior designer. Another neighbor in rehab, very similiar diagnosis to mine. I remember crawling on the floor unable to walk, i had zero benefits, had to work or be in a shelter or dead. It is a tough plight and gave my big support to his wife. (juxtaposed with the stupidity and judgmental attitudes one oft hears on health). TY universe for my being here to hear their stories and teach these in many venues. I am a tough person with a focused will oft from the love and inspiration of people who fought to get out of poverty or terror and all to make our world better. In NYC, I have known many dynamic people, good mentors, but mostly an older def privileged world. In Newark, I have known so many dynamic people creating in the real world where one may not have money to eat, or pay their rent late, yet still bringing smiles and joy daily to our lives. om mani padma hung for such a brilliant mensch. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFKA3ucNIpk Video of those inspiring me in my year I willed me to walk again; photos of my world 2007-08. My neighbor who just died was a true inspiration

There will be another dream..

In my Newark building store after a beautiful day.  Listening to YouTube, watching local news. God Bless Donna Summer for all the joy she brought to us and me for so many years. Donna began for me as a gogo boy on Manhattan cable to Donna's "Bad Girls"in 1977; endless clubs /moments all over US and Europe in the 80s/90s. and always the Christopher Street pier. what is more inspiring to our world than (@3;51): "There will be another song for me.., there will be another dream for me"... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_o7aSjl_E

I never thought I would see a day like today... the CIA, Feds, NGOs, all the media and tech companies recruiting folks at the lgbt career fair today. It is another generation and time. I am quite proud to have played parts in the work of thousands to change our world for over 40 years. How often I heard that usual putdown of having higher expectations of myself than others do, Times change! I laugh with my brother remembering Mom who confidentially told him I "needed deep therapy" (what is that?); Dad is just confused. 

Today, I saw another world unfolding and presenting dreams most of my peers never thought possible. My friends dead of AIDS like Tede and Frans live on in my head, and I am proud to be part of their legacy this day! Both blessed and humbled to know others have them in their hearts.. a wonderful tribute to Tede in SF earlier this year. 

http://queerculturalcenter.org/NQAF/letreadings13/remembering-tede-mathews/  So beautiful to see remembrance of Frans in a photo in the campaign video of an indefatigable advocate, Gale Brewer, in NYC.  Def that I am part of an ocean of dreams.. even in the YouTube video is reference to 3:50 as a distinct memory of the poster. 

Breaking Bad on Saint Michaelmas

Happy Saint Michaelmas! I could write the history of America at this juncture in my life. The life of my Mom and Dad, and family. Certainly no Breaking Bad story although our family did have its Rocky Mountain span but we lived in more diverse worlds over time. 

Never saw "Breaking Bad" until this weekend.  I doubt the current erudite show about the breakup of white privilege is all that ultimately although it is about white people talking among themselves as usual. The world has already changed.  Much of White America may mostly vote Republican. Christian zionists are busy formenting hate in Africa now Russia. Tel Aviv may be the most exciting city on the planet at the moment, but Israel is a lost cause until the right wingers die out. Sheikha Moza has probably one of the most dynamic faces of humanitarianism today. White liberals still lament what would Hillary do, but Valerie Jarrett the senior aide to our President Obama got the social workers into the White House. There are parallel Americas. 

watching BreakingBad.. spinning as the most wonderful show ever written and produced on tv. Did not think so and def know now that it is not. Alb,NM as another Anglo version of America. My Newark neighbors all had no comment but that it is a show making money and is particularly liked in the Midwest and Southwest. In short, Skylar is no Carmela. I remember when my parents moved from Colorado to NJ and hearing that the worse ethnic group in America were Italians.  We had moved from Chicago to Colorado, so my Mom/Dad had no comment and my Mom never really liked Colorado.  Breaking Bad as the latest cultural  commodity spun as the "best.", Def no Sopranos.

In watching the usual dramatic violence, I thought of "Kill everyone now!"  a statement from another time and by the brilliant star, http://www.divinemovie.com/. That was revolutionary drama in the 1970s.

This Saint Michaelmas 2013, I think of other lenses of America, like "Razor's Edge" (1945) with Tyrone Power, a cousin of my Mom. The book on my parents' bookshelf.  I like the NAACP post today to remind people of the amazing real Walter Francis White, now that is a story I care about. My Mom and a sister dead today, my Dad is almost 87 years, "Breaking Bad" never was to them. In the sweep of our lives, I think BB was interesting but mostly a vapid rehash of perceived loss of white privilege trying to make sense of their illusions.  

A story of my family could also include the fact that I first heard of "Breaking Bad" from my 70something year Uncle. He was enthralled from the beginning. On his recommend, I watched an epiode but was bored. My Uncle has generally had singular tastes in the family such as living in Cali and his favorite Aunt. I had no clue he was part of the fiercely devoted au courant fan base of the show. 

Best Saint Michaelmas 2013 and the harvest of visions.

beautiful evening! thought of my shadow as I took the elevator down to watch network news and to email in the store. Very chatting night!  introduced 2 of my cute, maybe 30yrold, energetic Jamaican neighbors and a date is on! a buddy on the verge of selling almost all got a new gig going on in DUMBO, $$$ ahead! that sadsack 17yr old runaway was here, i told him to go to therapy, then told him to make friends with the teen sons of my philosophe Dad buddy. l'philosophe was there reading Kabbalah, au'jourdi. (I told him to read Gershom Scholem, the master of Judaism mysticism). TY Walter Benjamin and all of my angels for a fun amazing night of listening to dreams and hopes, in the basement cafe of my building in Newark, NJ.

Newark NJ summer life 2013

Mijn 14th summer in Newark, NJ. Not much swimming going on.. rain days and my leg was messed up. But did make the pool a bit and still days ahead.

Visited a brother several times in the NJ suburbs.. found a good local pizzeria in Morris County. Doing my caregivng. Family reunion on the side of our maternal grandmother, a whole crew of cousins unknown to me, the Croatian-Dalmatians. A whole diaspora from Vrboska, Hvar.

Writing about social workers in politics. Donated funds to Booker for Senate, Buono for Governor, Gale Brewer for Manhattan Borough President.

Good summer songs always!!!

Music background in the playlist for a July 2013 episode of Eastenders. The hauntingly beautiful song from "Trainspotting", Underground-Born Slippy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOi8Gnq_z_U

Pre-iftar evenings this Ramadan listening to Capital Cities-Safe and Sound.  Listening to Adele, and Layla.

Lots of videos this summer.. "Man of Steel", "Lone Ranger and Tonto", "the Heat". YouTube video catching, seen every PBS Mystery Poirot, and BBC Spooks seasons 1 through 4.

Carpe the season. And Happy Birthday to a Park Ridge IL buddy from Maine South days, today! So many shared years!

figuring out summer songs etal by myself or with friends and/or neighbors. meanwhile.. gotta get with this one! sucha generational thing.. the best song of every summer always and forever!http://mashable.com/2013/08/07/stephen-colbert-get-lucky/

9/11/2012: Remembering 9/11/2001

For several years one of the first discussions in all of my NYC college classes was "What were you doing on 9/11?" as all of us were here that day. Have always had firefighters, hospital workers, first responders in my classes. Several of my Methods of Research student teams wrote brilliant proposals to do research on the ptsd of 9/11 survivors. Bonding in my Newark building with other residents; the store owner, in particular who we would ask to update us on those neighbors one had not seen. One such neighbor in a daze for months from the horror of having walked through the MerrylLynch WorldPlaza and dodging people jumping from the WTC towers. I remember the weeks of falling asleep to the BBC or CNN coverage of the aftermath to hear the names of those who had died. The horror on seeing a former co-worker whose fiance, a Citibank employee, never got out of the towers. Remembering the first train trip into NYC a few days post 9/11 and everyone looked out the window to see the rising plume of smoke in what used to be the WTC in the skyline. Photo: one of my conte crayon drawings from Pier 51, West St, WTC in distance.

Mad cripple of NY

i respect Michelle for talking about her Dad. Somedays I may be a mad cripple of NY but I am def privileged. Michelle, her Mom and brother just show the love of a parent who took care of his! So amazing! Thanks to her Dad!

Using the crutch as I fell off a NJ train in December. I had an appointment and such adrenaline I did not realize how damaged my knee had been. Had a trick knee already. After falling in the street while using a cane, I decided I needed to use the crutch. No fun falling in traffic but once some passerby was telling folks I was just a drunk! LOL.. I starting saying "I just finished teaching my methods of research class to college students.." but decided the onlookers would just think he be another delusional. 

I can at least laugh at the notion of being just another mad cripple in NYC considering the range of human behavior one sees in NYC. Thank the universe for having my public pool in Newark NJ.. swimming is my bliss now!

But, Michelle's father had far more challenges and I can only just be so proud of Michelle, her family, and respect the love and caring of her Dad.

Occupy Newark community organizing

SALUT Occupy Newark!
Went to the organizing activity on Saturday, 19 November, 2011. Maybe up to 50 people there, seemed very Newark/NJ like.. appreciated the diversity of peoples. Not the usual overwhelmingly young NYC white lefties although some and they seemed to be the visible organizers. I felt very at peace and welcome. Looked through the library, perused the fliers, got several silkscreen "I am the 99%". One of the general assembly members and I spoke about my doing some sort of teach-in due to my adjunct college professor life of 20 years. I remembered the compassion tent at Occupy Wall Street and thought of a caring space. Made a poster and sat in a chair. Spoke with a number of attendees about various things primarily politics in Newark. Waved to one of my neighbors out riding his bicylce, greeted Newark Council Member Crump who had come in solidarity. All in all really felt good being appreciated and asked to do some sort of action. Felt lots of curiousity and peace within the event! Bravo Newark for showing how an organizing event can be done!

grateful for the love of my friends

Awe, grateful for my friends! Sent this pastel to my best friend for his birthday. He thought I did it for him and framed it. LOL.. love you! Told him though that it was #66 of 92 I made this summer. I have so many drawings from over 36 years, I forget the magic! I just love the colours, form and spirit.

Art in da magical summer 2011! #66of 92, pastel, telling a story, Newark NJ; 21 Aout 2011. Saying goodbye to the young adults leaving for college today! All the Best!!
summer of 2011 magical love, Newark NJ, creating some vision everyday! (primarily under 5minute pastels) I love colour!

OF COURSE, another bestest friend I have known over 30 years got a 8x10inch pastel for her birthday. I finally asked her if she liked my birthday card. She said it was OK but she had better ones from me! i love my Dean friend in adventures!
#15 of 92, machines of the corner market, June 30, 2011, Newark NJ

Continuing their Legacies, those dead from AIDS

Emails on Newark Museum quilt show ignoring the Names Project, the most significant textile and community art project of the late 20th century. Appalling in Newark, NJ, home to the first hospital program for kids with AIDS; 2nd largest provider of hospital services to people with AIDS in US. I know at least 35 people in my building dead of AIDS in the past decade. Museums may have teaparties but a punch in the face to the legacy of those who died in the face of hate. We all have their legacies

Remembering WTC on 9/11, ten years later

Images of the WTC from 1976

Post Labor day "summer" fast pastels

Rainyday fast sketchs in da building store.. #90, 91 and #92.
#90 Los Arboles.. loved looking and sketching the shapes and colours in those trees this summer! Newark can be so lush.. certainly Branch Brook Park!

#91 Rain.. started with a fast sketch of a woman walking but couldnt figure out how to finish. She reminded me of my talk with a neighbor about the harrassment of Muslim women at an amusement park recently.. being denied rides if one wore the hajib. Dunno but outrageous harrassment, certainly a host of law suits to come. Maybe the drawing is just an angel...

#92 Remembering 2001. Somehow the work reminded me of the monolith in Kubrick's Space Odyssey 2001, and then the realization that 2001 was also the tenth anniversary of 9/11/01. Our new world reality, post 9/11.
Finally thought about the ending to the summer drawings now that it is post LaborDay. Looking for a regular social work opportunity (will teach part time). I also need to be around more social workers as the current political climate is so outrageous. Amazing that the Republican nihilists are so intent on getting rid of our first AfricanAmerican President, roll back social rights, and destroy the economy for the enrichment of the oligarchs.

Colours fantastique

More summer fast sketches!

#48 pastel; Love, Newark NJ; 2 Aout 2011. colours fantastique! Thoughts for my neighbor talking about his wife in the ER, their son upstairs with the babysitter. Hoping all turns out well! Always enjoy the tales of their family! Sometimes run into them strolling about midtown!

and to the right:

#47 pastel; Aout2, Newark NJ; 2 Aout 2011. colours fantastique. I would name it "Daphne's wings" for my neighbor who sat next to me whilst I drew... inspiring me.. but I name signed it already.

An inspiring day talking with 5 other neighbors.. stopping by to see what I am drawing today! Priceless! Thanks much!

mid july thoughts

perfect swim day! hoy hablando con mi vecinos, comiendo comida Espanol, cada dia un nueva experiencia en la playa Newark! Soy allegro con este Juli! Today the muscle guys were grabbing at me.. damn this one-legged guy had the grip of a super wrench! I am oft the big guy but he could have just tossed me the length of da pool!

2011 Santa Barbara 19 July; Santa Dominga 20 July; Newark pastels. #34, #35. my Yoruba African priest neighbor is moving.. one of da best neighbors for 11 years+. Not the African deities invoked but somehow my fast drawings took on images/faces of Chango et Obtala.

the basketball tourney is playing excellent Michael Jackson music pre-game and breaks tonight! Damn nothing like music in da hood these hot sweaty nights!

happy Birthday Walter Benjamin

Happy Birthday Walter Benjamin! one of the major intellectual influences to my being! the epistemology, montage, paradigms.. his writings with Gershom Scholem, Georges Bataille, Bertolt Brecht. I so love the Passagenwerk.. Paris Arcades! I am forever obsessed with his visions, and probably just the romance of his life.. Paris, Berlin.. to the never forgetting of his dreadful death fleeing the Gestapo.



2011, 15 juli, Newark NJ; summer girls, pastel #29; Boyz sit, pastel #30.
Da young ladies & gents sitting at separate picnik tables today... we older people all commented.. maybe the Full Buck Moon this gorgeous Newark summer afternoon!

Sparks of the divine

2011, 13 Juli; Newark NJ; sparks of the divine; pastel; #28.

Turned out lights and put colours to paper to capture the gorgeous forms/colours/spirit in the vista from my apartment window. Newark is sometimes just so damn gorgeous.. tonight made me think of divine beauty. Also thoughts of Walter Benjamin as almost his birthday!

Trees of Life

"Trees of Life": 2011, 12 Juli; Newark NJ; pastel; #27 in my 2011 ete drawing series.

Sat to draw next to a Christian cult missionary who was opinionated and bossy as usual, an oft evil nature, at first. Decided to really focus on creativity and positives... the result a "Trees of Life".

Later thinking of Walter Benjamin and "sparks of life". I searched in my Scholem Kabbalah text and found text on the inherent goodness in the tree of life! A juxtaposition as well as synchronicity? Dunno. Not that I am trying to draw good but I am focused on the creative in all work that I do.