9/11/2012: Remembering 9/11/2001

For several years one of the first discussions in all of my NYC college classes was "What were you doing on 9/11?" as all of us were here that day. Have always had firefighters, hospital workers, first responders in my classes. Several of my Methods of Research student teams wrote brilliant proposals to do research on the ptsd of 9/11 survivors. Bonding in my Newark building with other residents; the store owner, in particular who we would ask to update us on those neighbors one had not seen. One such neighbor in a daze for months from the horror of having walked through the MerrylLynch WorldPlaza and dodging people jumping from the WTC towers. I remember the weeks of falling asleep to the BBC or CNN coverage of the aftermath to hear the names of those who had died. The horror on seeing a former co-worker whose fiance, a Citibank employee, never got out of the towers. Remembering the first train trip into NYC a few days post 9/11 and everyone looked out the window to see the rising plume of smoke in what used to be the WTC in the skyline. Photo: one of my conte crayon drawings from Pier 51, West St, WTC in distance.

Occupy Newark community organizing

SALUT Occupy Newark!
Went to the organizing activity on Saturday, 19 November, 2011. Maybe up to 50 people there, seemed very Newark/NJ like.. appreciated the diversity of peoples. Not the usual overwhelmingly young NYC white lefties although some and they seemed to be the visible organizers. I felt very at peace and welcome. Looked through the library, perused the fliers, got several silkscreen "I am the 99%". One of the general assembly members and I spoke about my doing some sort of teach-in due to my adjunct college professor life of 20 years. I remembered the compassion tent at Occupy Wall Street and thought of a caring space. Made a poster and sat in a chair. Spoke with a number of attendees about various things primarily politics in Newark. Waved to one of my neighbors out riding his bicylce, greeted Newark Council Member Crump who had come in solidarity. All in all really felt good being appreciated and asked to do some sort of action. Felt lots of curiousity and peace within the event! Bravo Newark for showing how an organizing event can be done!

Rosh Hashanah 5772/2011 events!

"God Hates Fags" poster carrying ChristianDominionist"Jews"/rapturers going to LGBT events in South Carolina, I read in an rss feed, today. Oy! Four of my building ones looking all determined today! Their plan was to pass out anti-christ and jews for jesus pamphlets today, start of rosh hashana. Of course, to pass out in NJ. Security will not allow them to pass out at Temple Emmanuel, Central, in NYC! Interesting they dont pass out anti- Muslim tracts in the building. No surprise when it happens! My sister had a book on the faiths of our Founding Fathers for Dad. I took it as her attempt to make our Dad think beyond the Catholic Church is futile at his age 85.Whoa atheists among them! Who wrote the text in my link.

As ever my ex-Dean pal reminded me of her RoshHashanah story. Her most despised administrator (him only with a state college BA running grad school programs) married a very wealthy professor. The academic would cry to her about having to hide being a lesbian, find a husband or lose her wealth! oy. another "expert" on trafficked women and domestic abuse! Dunno his real story but dumping his wife and kids meant a big pew at a power synagogue where the publically "so in love couple" walk hand-in-hand! True Marcus Bachmann! "Pray the Gay away" or "Pay the Gay away" or just too big sadistic liars? Small minded selfish petty people actually albeit they got big budgets to work with! I always say.. compassion is oft so lacking in social work with the at all costs careerism.

My friend's Rosh Hashanah story so bothers me. Not the duplicitness or lack of morals but the behavior is so discordant with 90% of Jews I have known. I went to social work school because I had such admiration for two of my mentors, both Brooklyn Jewish kids! And I initially forgot my third, a former CPUSA activist, orphaned and raised in New Mexico! Of course I have also known so many remarkable Muslims in a Western world of Islamphobia! (Of course da Catholic and Buddhist nuns rule! So many admired West Indian Anglican preachers, Dutch humanists.....)

OMG, I forgot my favorite Hunter College SSocial Work grad, former CPUSA member, stalwart of the Jane Addams founded International Women's League for Peace and Freedom, who worked in a Jewish Child Care program. An orphan raised in New Mexico! My demonstration going pal!

Fortunately always compassionate wise people living in our midsts

Granddads, family ethics, HiltonPerez

salut to my granddad buddies. saw my long time friend Larry on the street yesterday. He is now a grandfather! I love it! the generations!

salut also to Hilton Perez in questioning the beauty pageant contestant. I tire of people giving condescending ideas on the matter. A person could simply say her opinions are personal. I have students endlessly ask my opinion on everything. I tell them that my opinion is not important. In fact, my opinion could confuse the situation at times. The importance is to be respectful of other people. The challenge is for people to understand the basis for their opinion. Teaching family ethics, we discuss same sex marriage, marriage, adultery, decision to have children.... I love witnessing the students explore the issues.. many times writing about issues in the first disciplined manner. I grade not on the particular view necessarily, but that they use ideas referenced in the texts as well as in our class discussions. That the students at least show some the ability to write about an issue that someone can understand (no hierogyphics thank you)!

The students critiqued my youtube video on my Mom... "remembering our Mom" at my profMike spot on YouTube. Fascinating comments but also interesting to see how people often just assume. My Mom had a life and a complexity. She may be blessed now that she is in "heaven" but she was actively engaged in the issues of her time.. up thru 2006! She loved Obama!

I dont get into the personal issues of my Mom as it is my own subjectivity. She is not around to answer any "charges". Personal issues are that, and the lenses change in context/time. Friends have a range of ideas on issues including gay marriage. Gay friends who cannot fathom why they should get married to hetero friends who are upset as they have never been invited to any gay marriages. I gave $5 today to a young Dad for his daughter's first birthday party! he is not married to the baby's Mother but such a pleasure to see them together with the baby! And that baby... such a joy! A Pentecostal friend just sent a prayer to be prayed and then sent to 12 others.. a Pentecostal friend who is gay and living with his civil union partner. (i love the requests and it is a good prayer, but i dont send these chain letters anymore). People have complexity in their lives.. there are endless ways to think about life!


The religious perspective is one lens, there are civic and moral lenses as well. Theology does not necessarily equal morality. In parts of the world a man can be polygamous yet a married woman is still be stoned to death for being around an unrelated adult male (not even sleeping with him).

Over time I find it interesting how ideas have changed. For instance, abortion was so often adamantly supported in the 1970s in a time when people remembered when abortions were illegal. Women died from illegal abortions. Nowadays I also have to remind some students that all gays are not lovely people wanting to get married. There are civil union dissolutions and I know many a nasty person gay/lesbian/whatever.

The contestant was condescending as her views are irrelevant. I think PerezHilton's question was good as it asked her level of sophistication on the issue. Of course, all these issues are selective. The former Vice President has a daughter who is in a samel sex civil union and is co-parent with her same sex partner. The Bush twins went to a host of same sex weddings. Gay male couples slept together in the George W Bush WhiteHouse. The political posturing has a whole hypocrisy to it.

I believe much of what goes on is also becoming familiar with changes in the politic. People have many more choices in life. One of the security officers at my building is transgender. I rarely see the person but know the officer was upset about using wrong pronouns when being addressed. I dont know what pronoun this person expects, I just use "officer"...

and my buddy Larry the new grandfather is involved in m2m relationships. i never asked about the mother of his daughter, whether his daughter knows.... his daughter loves him is all I know. it was just a delight to hear Larry talk about the joy in his granddaughter!



peace, hugs, compassion

dating age, "not fat enough",,,

love happens between men of varying ages everyday. love happens at any age! thoughts of a couple of guys in their 50s now celebrating a year together! another couple, met in their 40s, now having their 15th year! Mazel tov!!!!

As a college professor (research, psychiatric content), Columbia U alum/teaching, 54 years old, and as a NYC/NJ denizen, I run into younger men everyday. it is interesting to realize the crushes younger men have on me as I am easy to confide in. My issue with younger men is that it is all too easy to manipulate the seductiveness. There is a power differential that I don't exploit, so I do not get involved with men much younger than 30 years (of course there could be one in 10 million...). Anyhow, 20 somethings always zone out... poor things having to deal with creating an adult identity! There is also the generational zeitgeist... I was definitely part of mine!

Photo of one of my grandfather buddies! Salut to grandfathers!!!

My whole issue now is how to respond to men in their 70s who routinely send me shouts online! Younger men are a breeze to deal with but as we live longer ... dating men in their 70s? I look to see life views (no republicans of course), some geographic nogos.. I have no interest in Florida, Georgia, Texas...too republican and HUMID! I look for a joy of life! Some of the sexiest men I have chatted with online are studs in their late 60s!

all of these age issues are in constant flux of course. All of a sudden, I am over 50 which is in itself a whole other lens changer. Being over 50 years, I feel I have achieved longevity and not too concerned with so many of the usual stuff younger men are caught up in. I wear what I want, express my thoughts with a historical and intellectual certainty just from the experiential awareness of how society has changed. I may use a cane at times, but i was a go-go boy, never had to wait in line to get into a club, had radio shows, had my black chaps/white 501 attire that made me fierce! I have had an adult identity for 30 years! There is a whole gap that I feel ultimately with guys 20 or 30 years younger than me. I dont have that for men older than me. I generally find most of the men I like older than me are in long term relationships and I am ultimately not interested in just a casual sex thing.

I have been in love but i am also a survivor of the AIDS plague. Everyone of my buddies from the 1970s and most of my contemporaries from the 1980s died before the advent of the new meds in the 1990s. So I am just amazed that I am HIV negative and living with the memories of over 3000 buddies. My favorite men all died. I have never been entirely single, having a partner or then a regular date(s) my entire adult life.

I am a NYC flaneur so I dont stay home with a pet, my tv is broken, and I like being out of the house to socialize. I have always been involved in what's up at the time. In the 1970s, I was in NY, SF, Provincetown, a gogo boy (background dancer in jeans on a cable show) and part of the whole gay revolution. Into the 1980s, I was a Saint/Garage/Palladium club goer; then spent most of my free time in Berlin, Amsterdam, Zurich and Paris as I had the friends to visit and money to travel often. in the 1990s, I was so involved in NYC life... working with the homeless, people with AIDS; and in my personal life, somedays up to 15 men would phone me in a day to hang. There are so many men but I have been content (sometimes to my detriment) to be fairly serial monogamous. It is in the last few years time to mostly teach/read/think. the realization that there is always another man (in the elevator, around the corner...) when I hear "too old" "or too young" or "not Black" or "not enough money for me", or "not fat enough". And that is what I generally tell men of every age, color, size who complain about rejection.

I am alive, engaged, and enjoying life's adventures! My favorite friends who changed our universe are all dead, young. Young men have a seductiveness but I have seen thousands burn out, go Republican, get wierd. These days I am beyond thrilled that we have a President Obama who has already given gays a lot! If I was 10 years younger I would be applying for a White House job (I did apply to the Clinton White House). So, if someone doesnt want to know about me.. who cares! I have a life is my mantra! Loving the challenges as I do get older and my perspectives change about dating, age, life!

hugs, peace, compassion

heute 6 April

continuing thoughts on what is my day like...
when teaching...
wake up, check caller ID to see if any important messages. boil water for my green tea, brew tea and put it on the side. take some meds with 2%milk. Then, put on sweats, walk thru building, wind up in minimart in basement of building. have a koffie, gossip with neighbors or with the employees, checking out het weer from the window there. No neighbors today but the postperson, so early post today! back up elevator to my apartment...
with the green tea... to the computer. boot up. check my 3 emails. check my rss feeds reader and read maybe 35 items on my to-read list (out of usually 1000+ feed reads in each day's reader). No emails today but from a student who has yet to be in class (this is our second week).
answer critical emails.. usually notes to friends...
started this blog and inserted photo, 7 april 1962 of my first communion invite to my parents! whoa! photo in blog!
back to the building lobby to get mail. Nothing at all! LOL, my Monday Chronicle of Higher Ed is missing. And, a check that was allegedly mailed Thursday. back upstairs...
phoned the check writer.... explained on voicemail that I thought the check would be here! Now stressed as I dunno what is up and I wanted to pay my rent today. Otherwise, have to go to the bank, take out money at my deposit bank (not to pay atm fees) and then get a money order for the rent. I am also annoyed as I am debating writing a letter about my front door lock being broken, broken intercom... On the other hand, not interested in going to court with the building. Oh well.. to be continued.. My brother is doing me a big favor writing a check from my Mom's account, just I asked him so late...
go through course outlines and check what is to be taught today. make sure my attendance list is up to date. gather handouts and make sure to scan for further use. today, I updated a take-home journal assignment for students, and a guide to their final project. checked and changed dates if needed for when student teams meet. emailed the attachments to my college email. I am not printing out at home anymore and using my personal ink and paper.
had a phone conversation with a social work colleague about protocols, diversity, cultural competency issues in NJ.
and then time to shower, dress, make sure my texts are in my bag. do the commute shuffle!
LOL
big hugs, compassion, peace

ethics

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Film/Video list to relate to my family ethics course. Endless films but looked for poignant stories that show some history, role status or crisis, diverse family constellations. For instance, put in the "Charlie Chan" film as in actualite, few Chinese families had the "joyous" family as Americans still lived under immigration rules such as the Chinese Exclusion Act that was not really repealed until the 1960s. Picked films from IMG "my movies" listing:

“A Woman under the influence” (1974) Faces.

“ La Belle et La Bete” (1946) Jean Cocteau.

“Big Love” (2006) HBO

“Brief Encounter (1945) Cineguild UK

“Cabin in the Sky” (1943) Metro Goldwyn Mayer.

“Children of Men” (2006) Universal.

“The Color Purple” (1985) Amblin Entertainment.

“Charlie Chan at the Circus” (1936) Twentieth Century Fox.

“Love with the Proper Stranger” (1963) Pakula-Mulligan.

“Noah’s Arc” (2005) Open Door Productions.

“The Soprano’s” (1999) Home Box Office.

“Transgeneration” (2005) LOGO Entertainment.

“The Women” (1939) Metro Goldwyn Mayer.

Both of my courses (research, ethics) there was discussion about marriage equality. Amazingly enough, only one of my 30+ students, older working adults, mostly parents, NYC, multi-ethnic, has attended a same-sex wedding. One student works for a lgbt community org and has not been to a ceremony. In fact, I have not been to a same sex wedding. I certainly know a number of couples with domestic partnerships, but no ceremonies. Couples with children have legal rights for the children but no commitment ceremonies, to date. Just interesting sidelines to the media focus on same sex marriage.

Once again, students will have group projects and at least 2 teams will look at lgbt issues. The teams decide on their own phenomena to explore. It is always fascinating to see the range, depth of the projects!

Watched "Goodbye Lenin" today and thought of past Marz und April in Berlin. Posted photo of my favorite Berlin DDR cafe in the Alexanderplatz, April, 1987.

peace, hugs, compassion