Goodbye Dad.. RIP as I pray and will always love ya

RIP for my/our Dad this morning. He died at 4am, at age 86. A brother and I visited on Friday at the hospice. He had a strong will and it was a long goodbye with his Alzheimer's. My sympathy and love for us siblings, family, caregivers and friends

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyrecord/obituary.aspx?n=robert-f-wright&pid=167699426&fhid=8694

Our Dad died on 21 October which is the feast day for the relatively obscure Saint Viator. My Mom's paternal family literally built that parish.. donated stained glass, parish councils, an Aunt and an Uncle worked at the church. My parents were married at Saint Viator's in August, 1953.. 60 years ago. http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=246 — at Saint Viator Roman Catholic Church

Good morning 22 October. Thanks for the sympathies.. it means a lot. I didnt sleep well; a brother phoned as he is fighting with everyone where he lives; I know it must be devastatingly final for some of my sisters. We will always love our Dad and thank him for doing the best he could. A tough time. My neighbors are kind.. chats, especially with one of the fathers whose 2 boys were born in Park Ridge, IL. We have had so many chats about Park Ridge in the basement cafe in Newark, NJ. Watched Palm Springs videos and got bored, so... dunno.. back to carpe diem! thanks and hugs to all

In the last year of our Dad, we went from 9 chldren to 8 after the death of our sister Mary. Mary pretty much became the center of the family and outreached to all of us siblings. After her death in August, 2012, our Dad began a pronounced decline. My sister died after a long illness but David Sedaris has a poignant story of his family. So many similiarities! Love the story!http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2013/10/28/131028fa_fact_sedaris?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weeklyemail&mbid=nl_Weekly+%2860%29

Judith Butler is brilliant on the nuances of Benjamin.. the messianic qua revolutionary spark crystallized when oppressed history breaks out of the banal normal of history. Thunderclap Newman 1969.. the revolution is here and we/i believed it was.. we knew it was right to blast out and get it together now, jetzt! Thanksgiving 2011 at Occupy Newark.. another zeitgeist when what we were doing was right in a moment of pregnant messianic possibility! In a small way, being with my brother and Dad in the hospice, an awareness of DAD's lifespan, crystallization of death, and the reality of jetzt in life. I was there in the messianic but....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtRwOkGV-B4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK_6TU1T7V8

A beautiful sympathy card from some of my neighbors, given to me. Over the past year I had frequently talked about having my Dad visit with me here.. the elevator, store, transit, ease of being here. He would have enjoyed the attention here. I am touched by the kindness and remembering, Thanks so much.

Breaking Bad on Saint Michaelmas

Happy Saint Michaelmas! I could write the history of America at this juncture in my life. The life of my Mom and Dad, and family. Certainly no Breaking Bad story although our family did have its Rocky Mountain span but we lived in more diverse worlds over time. 

Never saw "Breaking Bad" until this weekend.  I doubt the current erudite show about the breakup of white privilege is all that ultimately although it is about white people talking among themselves as usual. The world has already changed.  Much of White America may mostly vote Republican. Christian zionists are busy formenting hate in Africa now Russia. Tel Aviv may be the most exciting city on the planet at the moment, but Israel is a lost cause until the right wingers die out. Sheikha Moza has probably one of the most dynamic faces of humanitarianism today. White liberals still lament what would Hillary do, but Valerie Jarrett the senior aide to our President Obama got the social workers into the White House. There are parallel Americas. 

watching BreakingBad.. spinning as the most wonderful show ever written and produced on tv. Did not think so and def know now that it is not. Alb,NM as another Anglo version of America. My Newark neighbors all had no comment but that it is a show making money and is particularly liked in the Midwest and Southwest. In short, Skylar is no Carmela. I remember when my parents moved from Colorado to NJ and hearing that the worse ethnic group in America were Italians.  We had moved from Chicago to Colorado, so my Mom/Dad had no comment and my Mom never really liked Colorado.  Breaking Bad as the latest cultural  commodity spun as the "best.", Def no Sopranos.

In watching the usual dramatic violence, I thought of "Kill everyone now!"  a statement from another time and by the brilliant star, http://www.divinemovie.com/. That was revolutionary drama in the 1970s.

This Saint Michaelmas 2013, I think of other lenses of America, like "Razor's Edge" (1945) with Tyrone Power, a cousin of my Mom. The book on my parents' bookshelf.  I like the NAACP post today to remind people of the amazing real Walter Francis White, now that is a story I care about. My Mom and a sister dead today, my Dad is almost 87 years, "Breaking Bad" never was to them. In the sweep of our lives, I think BB was interesting but mostly a vapid rehash of perceived loss of white privilege trying to make sense of their illusions.  

A story of my family could also include the fact that I first heard of "Breaking Bad" from my 70something year Uncle. He was enthralled from the beginning. On his recommend, I watched an epiode but was bored. My Uncle has generally had singular tastes in the family such as living in Cali and his favorite Aunt. I had no clue he was part of the fiercely devoted au courant fan base of the show. 

Best Saint Michaelmas 2013 and the harvest of visions.

40 anos despues Pueblo, Colorado State

Keep running into visitors from Pueblo and Denver, Colorado, spoke with my own Columbia alumni recently. I read that the school will host Daniel Hernandez, jr., a hero in the shooting of Tucson CongressMember Giffords, to speak.   Feeling bliss at having had such wonderful adventures in life. Wanted to get my thoughts from 40 years ago out to Pueblo:

Best wishes for the Colorado State alumni homecoming events. I follow the college activity on Facebook (alumni, football).  My Facebook friends include people from Colorado including Pueblo. This summer, in my Newark NJ apartment building, I have had frequent talks with a recent Pueblo graduate. I wanted to share some of my activity although I am not an alumni.

It is 40 years since I left Pueblo after my freshman year of college (1972-3). I graduated high school in Colorado and then my parents moved to New Jersey. I did not return to Pueblo  but lived with my parents and moved to Brooklyn, NY. In 1978, I graduated Brooklyn College, went to Columbia University for my Masters then started Phd at Columbia (comparative social policy). I am a social worker as well as an adjunct professor for decades with a range of college populations (international, lgbt, immigrant, first generation, primarily urban). I primarily teach Methods of Research to graduating seniors, and field instruct/advise graduate social work students. I am also an alumni of the International House, NYC where I had a fellowship whilst working on my Master's degree.

I loved my year at Pueblo although sometimes it may seem more romantic than it was (of course). I lived in the dormitory, volunteered on a crisis hotline, pledged Tau Kappa Epsilon, loved the sunsets and landscapes, and focused on being fluent in Spanish. I remember how so many of us were supporters of Native American organizing at Wounded Knee, SD that year. Students were going there in solidarity. I dated a Jewish woman and attended my first synagogue services in Pueblo. I visited the homes of various classmates during breaks and several actually visited me in New Jersey and Brooklyn. An endless array of stories to share far away from Pueblo which adds to the romance of those memories.

More recently, I helped a Colorado high school friend who was born in Pueblo with her crime novel set in Pueblo. This summer I met friends of a neighbor. The friends are all living in Denver,many are immigrants from Cote d'Voire. One of them is a Pueblo graduate and I have shared my photos and memories with her. She hopes to be accepted in Master's program in a New York City school. I have had over a 1000 students to teach and/or mentor, and she is certainly among the most ambitious. It has been a joy to hear her stories of CSU-Pueblo: international students, transgender students, her major (business), the environment, as well as how the campus has changed. No doubt I would be visually lost with all the changes. 

My year in Pueblo was particularly fascinating in my studying Spanish which is perfect to have in my social work practice. I recently had a graduate social work student who came to NYC from Los Angeles to be more fluent but I think my Pueblo year was better! I had a number of friends of Native American heritage and although we have the wonderful American Indian Community House, there was certainly a zeitgeist in Pueblo that year. I did not have the specific idea of being a social worker at that time, but I was particularly influenced by the kindness and intellectual lens of Professor June Hearn. One of my peers was active in organizing for lesbian rights in those early seminal years, she later became a lgbt lobbyist in Washington, all part of a 40 year history which now   includes marriage equality, etal in the past year(s).

 Thank you very much for reading through my email. I am not an alumni yet certainly have a rich diverse memory from just one year at Pueblo. I am also sending to the Social Work department to share my thoughts.

I look forward to following the college activities on Facebook.

All the best and thanks for your work!

Mike

RM

Summer email postcards/photos

This summer, a host of auto tour emails of sites in Utah, Colorado from a Cali buddy.

Now, snapshots as he visits his parents (now in their 80s) in Memphis.
Love the baby boy photos from 1960/61 Huntsville, Alabama!

Especially love him and his baby bottle but it is not uploading right, but I posted.

awwww!

back to normal.... funding UN programmes

Kudos to the Obama administration for restoring funds to United Nations programmes such as the population fund. Research has always shown that money given to help educate women, provide better health care, and give women reproductive choice stabilizes people's lives, their communties and ultimately our world. http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=30164&Cr=population&Cr1= It is a joy to see science replacing a particular narrow ideology in this new administration!

thoughts again on women who have enriched my life. Spoke with my Lakewood Colorado high school buddy anoche. He spoke how the girls just loved me as I would listen to them opposed to many of the guys. His memory is that the hot girls all liked me and he was jealous! I really dont remember any of that. I vaguely remember high school actually and would love to know who all these hot girls were! lol. Of course, I was 16jahre when I graduated and then my folks moved us to NJ the December after my graduation. I just remember hanging with my buddies at the drive-in, or driving into the foothills or prarie.

It has been one of my strengths to know people from many backgrounds. I wouldnt be a social worker if I wasnt interested in hearing people's stories. I am blessed to read all of my college students' essays on a myriad of topics. Having clients/patients has been fascinating! I am always amazed by what and how people process and think!

An Oster card sent from women who meant much to me (1999 photo uploaded). Listening to older women. I usually focus on grandfathers though as I am of that age where my peers have that status. But, I do know many grandmothers or woman of that age. Always a blessing to get cards which I save. Since my Mom's death, I have particularly thought about grandmothers. I spent 50 some years with my Mom but my nieces/nephews will not have that luxury. My Mom loved her grandchildren much! I know how much she was loved by her father's mother.

The caption in the photo montage is from Andrea Bocelli (the voice of an angel!!) as my remembrance of the women who have now died. "I already hear that she can hear no longer: in silence, she went to sleep, she has already gone to sleep". Thanks much for the memories!!!

peace, hugs, compassion

academic transparency

intrigued by the NYU takeOver (VillageVoice feed photo shown). I followed tweets, saw the student website, watched YouTube videos, checked NY One! Not clear about all of the demands but the transparency issue is real. not pleased by the NYU tyranny in putting down the take over. I have seen NYU become a corporate behemoth over time. Just the take over of the East Village for student housing. Amazing that they charge over $1000 a month for a student to share a dorm! A tax-exempt group which has benefited from City policy to expand dislocating many working class people in the process.

spoke with someone I know 30 years on the phone. He asked why do I know some wierd people.. talking about a divorcing couple I know. LOL! thoughts of how people just buy into myths, or drink the koolaid! I am always amazed by the myths... well God bless him! Wealthy people have problems but their wealth can screen others from knowing what is up. In the 9 years I did corporate affairs for Citibank, I saw enough late night black cars bringing in drunks who were helped out of the cab by the doorman and whisked upstairs in the elevator by the maid. Actually I started my doctoral studies as I was so bored by the endless partying and greediness in some of that life. Anyhow... Richard Hofstadter and C Wright Mills wrote on the phenomenon almost 50 years ago!

The same issues of myth in academia. The power of institutions to gatekeep as well as accredidate. Mostly the personal stories one encounters... Nasty evil divorces ... at least 5 families where the professor dumped his wife and deserted the children for a wealthier spouse. Married DL gays and lesbians. A famous couple espousing liberal causes everywhere and then their behavior ridiculing their gay son.. their embarrassment. The wife of a professor locked away in a psychiatric ward who used to phone the college looking for her husband. He had a wealthy student paramour. Thankfully, there are now ethics laws that one cannot date one's students. All paid big bucks despite their questionable behaviors. 95& of us would be fired, in civil court, and/or harrassed for similiar behavior. Some of these stories go back to the 1970s, many of these people are now deceased, but they were gatekeepers!

I think of these things in terms of the realignment going on in the US and world economy. The power of the wealthy and privledged to do what they want is manifest. I also always think of someone listed among the 50 most powerful bankers in the world.. a really lovely woman who has spent so much time helping others over the years. Generally committed academics, but then those who slept and clawed their way up, as in many career paths. So, as in the case of the phone converser.. people can be wierd.. it is just they may not share their truth or one can be blinded by the socalled status. From years of working with clients, people tell others what they want them to know.. it may or may not be what is called reality! And of course, just using basic critical thinking but then again maybe 30% of Americans have an accreditated college degree and logic may have only been an elective.

I dont know much about NYU. Sadly I mostly remember the wierd stories. I supervised several students from NYU. I flunked one. She was all caught up in the importance of "being at NYU" but did little work. I know several faculty.. one was a professor who in the 1970s spent her agency time exposing lesbian mothers and bringing them up for immoral behavior at Family Court. I was working with disabled children at the time, and all of us workers hated her. Times have changed.. she now hangs with the lesbian NYU faculty. Another NYU grad, now teaching at a NJ college, went to NYU as she was not accepted at Columbia for being anti-social. She was a big boozer and slept with more men than I can remember in those wild 1980s. A friend worked in Columbia admissions and had had a verbal fight with the candidate at her admissions interview! Now that was good interview style! Today, she is married to a WallStreeter, suburban, presents the highest of bourgeosie appropriateness. Mostly though I really know little about NYU as I was involved in my alma maters.

Anyhow... what is life...
series of challenges and dealing with the ambiguities along our path to fulfill our true will (if we figure that out!) I never had a professor I wanted to date... LOL. As an art student, i spent all my time making art and had an intense personal relationship. in social work school, I had a political placement, fellowship at the international house, editor of my college monthly newsletter. Whew! Today, I am too superEgo'd to even think about dating a student.. students need to go through their own life process.. I am just one person on their path and one hardly needs to go through my dramas! Of course every semester I have students who have their "crush" on me but I know that 2 months after the grades are in I expect to rarely hear from the student again!


I value academia highly. I love teaching research, ethics, but I also have a social worker mentalite of respect for ethical practice. There is a parallel process in teaching. I evolved into teaching as an outgrowth of my work as a community organizer and as a direct services worker. I had no college guidance in high school nor from my parents. I wound up in Brooklyn as I did not want to go back to Colorado and got a free rent job renovating brownstones and CUNY was free! Brooklyn College was great as I loved making art there! Columbia was so intellectually interesting and I got scholarships! In my PhD time, a professor told me I read too much! I had never really read the classics and history. I had no college mentors in terms of an academic life. My studies were very project oriented. Anyhow, I can understand Barack Obama and his mentalite, being another alum. I know he must have signed one of my petitions in those thousands of petitions!!!

I hope that the students and admin find a way to discuss. I do think that the transparency issue will be on the table as the costs are out of control. This is a time of great change and I think the university is but one to see changes. There will just not be the money to continue the costs! I hope that there is respect and a dialog that makes change happen albeit....

peace, hugs, compassion

happy new Year 2009!!

grutzli aus Newark/NYC!!! happy to be in another year! adding on the years!
new year's eve was soooooooo cold.. and a snow flurry... so I rushed home and stayed under the blankets! watched Times Square online! loved hearing Daft Punk music playing to the thousands.. what a joyous event! The daughter of Brooklyn buddies braved the cold but they got caught in the security maze in the Deuce... i loved going there in my 20 years!
a bit of a health relapse.. party due to dehydration.. living in the hood it is so hard to get nutritous food. I ordered Dominican and threw away the pollo and even the maduras! ugh! got sick from the usual fried food over the weekend as well. anyhow went to the supermarket.. made great cabbage soup, yoghurt et museli, vegetables, salmon, low fat, low sodium, healthy foods.
went al campo to see my brother. happy to share thoughts with him.. especially my scatteredness. i really have cognitive problems since I was in the hospital. I spend a lot of time just meditating to deal with my stress. I will see the doctor on Friday. at least I have more of an understanding of my health issues after the week in the hospital. I passed the house of my sister with cancer and the house seemd to be surrounded by angels, from the bus at least. She is on big time chemo, doesnt respond to emails, calls, etal. But she has her live in boyfriend and other siblings of mine visit her. I just pray for her!
Stopped by my church in Dover to sit at the picnic table but it is now gone. I went to the latin american restaurant and the workers were so rude to me. LOL.. LOL... times have changed. I havent made that trip in a year. My Mom is now dead 2 years. Another era! I still send out my YouTube video on my Mom. Sent the flyer to the Bishop I know, to one of the NY Times owners, in response to letters i have received. I send it to everyone as I will always be proud of my Mom listening, befriending and advocating people with mental illness, those others often run away from. Plus, I think my Mom got so tired of her children's dramas sometimes.. it was easier to listen to strangers with real problems! our Mom of 9 made us proud!
still sending out presents. sent photos of Our lady of Guadalupe to my sister.. born on that feast day! She wants me to sell the photos.. maybe...
the mail brought a framed photo of me and a friend for 32 years from an elected official buddy in NYC. what a shock! She has so many friends on Facebook! I joke with her husband who has none! Facebook friends.... anyhow.. i always love her. i was reading my party book from the 1980s and 1990s in Chelsea. I had an apartment and held many parties. Just read some of her thoughts in my book from parties over the years. lastly, a card in 2000 reminding me not to forget NYC ! I certainly cannot but I cannot afford to live there.
emailed my friends in Zurich... sent them a cutOut holiday card.. I think they thought I may have lost it.. so emailed them to tell them I was in the hospital if I seem strange.
I am so sick of being ill. Nothing has worked but I am still here. it is just sticking to healthy living.. being mindful. I didnt realize how sick I was.
dunno my teaching schedule yet. thinking of finding some clients to do some life coaching etal. i certainly have been doing that for over 20 years with students, clients, etal. We will see what transpires.
I think about what stories to write all the time but I dunno if anyone really cares. of course, my friend Muriel the dean, and all my students tell me they would read my stories. But, I can give lectures but havent found my voice.
Muriel and I talked about a common friend and how I should pitch her to visit the nuns in Indiana, the college relatives of mine benefacted, and an Aunt was the Mother Superior. Our friends needs a rest and it could be there. She sews, loves herbs, horses... I will make a pitch to her.
Thoughts of my high school buddy in Colorado and his perceptions and his relationship with my estranged father. I was going to send Randy my father's address, but my father is so unpredictable and can be quite vicious. So many nuances in the narratives but I just dunno.
I meditate and think of my true will... my purpose in life. I know teaching has been one but I am overdosed and too broke from this gig.
My motto always is one door closes another opens, so I look forward to the opportunities. Just wish I was not crippled over, in pain so often, and could focus more.
big hugs, compassion, peace
photo Dover, NJ

Viva Obama

Wow! Viva Obama! We won! so thrilled to vote for the first President that I really supported! My first vote was in 1972 Colorado for McGovern. I may have been excited but mostly by the first ability of 18 year olds to vote! So many reasons for my support of Obama. I like the latest idea out there, the "white grandmother effect". A romantic idea. Anyhow, I usually like grandmothers of any background, and loved my own! (love the gospel song, A grandmother who prayed for me!) In reality, I like Obama's style and ideas. As a fellow Columbia grad, I understand his motivation and commitments. I also did community organizing in NYC in the 1980s and understand the importance of engagement and change. So many identifications. Newark, NJ, via CCTV, voters in my building 4 Nov 08

In the days following his win, I applaud his appointment of Rahm Emanuel! Bravo to the 70%+ Jewish vote for Obama, but I also sense President elect Obama will bridge and educate about Israel and Palestine! I have Chicago family roots and admire the tenacity of Emanuel and those Chicago Democrats. My Mother (a Park Ridge, IL mom) was the first person to tell me how good Obama is! President elect Obama will need tenacious advocates like Emanuel. Of course, I worry about how our economic crisis will be handled. I so like reading George Soros, and applaud Obama appointing Warren Buffet to his team. As a former Citibank person, I am emailing a former colleague, now a senior executive to get her opinion, and hope she is helpful. President elect Obama needs all the help he can get.

In all, I just feel so happy and do not really have a critical perspective on his election and the road to the Presidency yet. After the election, wore my button, talked with my college students about the history and the advent of change. Endless talk with my neighbors and friends. My buddies in SF and Colorado spoke with me election night, Bravo Obama! I appreciate hearing the comments by so many of my African American neighbors of their pride in his achievement, and in fact, all of ours. My friends in Zurich emailed me with excitement! Relishing the zeitgeist!

The only downside is the loss of Prop8, marrige equality in CA. My sense is that this is still a new issue and it is being processed. I find in teaching issues about gays/lesbians etal, that my college students have seldom had much opportunity to openly discuss such issues. The media may have entertainment images but they are often of the rich white gay man, not the reality in fact. This semester I teach Ethics and the Family which has allowed the opportunity for the class to discuss issues about gay/lesbian families. Fascinating narratives as ever.

I am saddened by the uproar about Prop8 and African Americans. I dunno the outreach to all communities by no on 8 organizers but perhaps not enough done in all communities. I question the CNN methodology of 70% AfAm supporters. In short, African American supporters contributed but not the tipping point. On the other hand, the church has long been an institution in African American society and homosexuality not seen positively in most of the churchs. Although the Newark Episcopal diocese has been quite inclusive, interviewed a gay minister for a Bishop vacancy. At the same time, in Newark, I worked as a social worker in America's second largest HIV in-patient hospital program and witnessed the often homoignorance by staff, families, and the community, even in this first 2000 decade! There still is the stigma and shame about HIV. So, gay, lesbian, trans...... Well, Obama has always mentioned gays in his speechs!

I am not proud to see that gay identified voters were 27% for McCain, 7% less than for Kerry. Ugh. So many black/white/Latino gays supported Clinton and that may have been the revenge. I dunno why the no on 8 organizers did not involved Clinton to do some ads. Most importantly, the racial stratification in gay worlds is an issue to address. One sees it on Christopher Street everyday. All in all, much work to be done and I know President elect Obama will bridge and educate as he can.

I feel optimistic for once in my life about national politics. I admire President elect Obama's style and ideas. I have faith in his concerns about building bridges between communities for a shared better future. I really like his supporters. I am really excited by what our society may produce!
peace, hugs, compassion