Sunday, December 28, 2008

losses December 28, 2008

what with the holidays also the news on the deaths of Eartha Kitt and John Costelloe. I loved the music and style of Eartha Kitt. Made a party tape with Eartha included and when I briefly owned a car in 1995, I would turn up the music volume and particularly cruise to her! I so remember my first visit to Paris and hearing Eartha Kitt music all around. I saw her once on the street outside Madison Square Garden. She was magnaminous in signing autographs for the many who ran up to her. God bless you! A delight to our world! om mani padma hung!

The alleged suicide of John Costelloe so bewilders me. What a hunk.. such a stud! But, of course, internal demons. I dunno what made him do what may have been done. Certainly there will be some autopsy, I hope. Once again, just the suffering in mental illness, the pain of the lonely.

Clearly there are so many reasons to jump out the window, or do whatever. Eartha Kitt struggled from an early age, survived the ravages of NYC, stood up to power, and I am sure had many a disappointment. But, she rallied, smiled, and enriched the lives of millions! A poor little Black girl with nothing but ambition and changed the world! Thank you so much!

Dunno about Costelloe. I am so lost primarily because he was so hot and seemed to be able to engage the world. I can only assume it is the twists to the cognitive disorders one can have, the pain one can feel, and then again, maybe he did not have the intellectual capacity to see thru the morass.

I am forever going to jump out the window, or whatever, particularly when pressured by some asshole to come up with answers.. usually family or an ex. Life is uncertain and there are no rules. But, I meditate, change the emotions, and remember "one door closes, another opens". Also, I could jump out the window and get 500 more horrible lifetimes. Ugh, Ugh! Anyhow, ultimately, I just live thru the process, mistakes and all. I am human and I am alive, so there is some reason for my taking up breathing space. Mostly, I so believe in the sparks of the miraculous that one can change the world!

I will miss Eartha Kitt and John Costelloe. They both had sparks and changed the world for millions and for me. Eartha gave me joy, Costelloe gave me hope I'd run into his double. Eartha also gave me so many songs and memories!

Hugs, peace, compassion to their loved ones, and to all in the universe!

photo from Google web

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