Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Happy Birthday Marilyn!


Always remember 3 birthdays: Marilyn, the birthday of my favorite Aunt Marge, and one of my former Newark now in da Bronx neighbors!

1958 photo: left to right: my Dad and Mom, Uncle Gill.. Aunt Marge... Uncle Ed. Some celebratory event.. in the Boulevard Room, Chicago Hilton.

Love that my aunt shares the birthday of Marilyn Monroe! My aunt was a stylish lady. I think a bit of a polyamorous one as well as there were always a few men around!

My Aunt doted on me.. def a perfect Aunt. Bringing me for ice cream in Park Ridge, IL, or out to eat somewheres. A high school buddy reminds me that I stayed in her house when I had mono. Memorial Day always a reminder of her as my siblings and I would sit on her porch to watch a parade go by in NorthWest Chicago near to Park Ridge. Always miss my Aunt who died young, age 56, in 1975.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Saturday, May 9, 2009

"How many white AIDS orphans have you seen lately?"



Happy Mother's Day weekend! A statement from a book reading about Mothers, dead from AIDS.


God Bless Sindiwe Magona.. a treasure in our world! Her comments at a book launching event in Johannesburg, RSA about ten days ago. Link to the press account. http://news.book.co.za/blog/2009/04/20/hivaids-angry-sindiwe-magona-holds-mirror-to-black-south-africa-with-videos/

I have known Sindiwe since 1980 when we were social work students at Columbia University. We are all buddies who live around the world now! Zurich, NYC, Penang, South Africa!

Emailed everyone the past few days and it is a joy to share Sindiwe's voice!

The posted photos are from 1992 into 1993. In 1992, I would meet
Sindiwe in the UN employee dining room. I was up for a job in the UN Secretariat. Sindiwe worked as a
Xhosa translator.
Her books were published in London by Women's Press in 1991. We decided to then have a book reading at Columbia University. Photos of Sindiwe and a CUSSW Dean, Muriel Reed when we were planning in October, 1992. Lastly, photos from the book reading in February, 1993. Wow what an event! Sindiwe also spoke at the start up of Dean Reed's scholarship fund at Columbia in 1999. The fastest growing scholarship fund at Columbia! http://www.columbia.edu/cu/record/archives/vol25/07/2507_SSW_Fundraising.html

In 1993, Sindiwe also spoke to my first college stint! the students loved her! These days in teaching research methodology, I use Sindiwe's books to illustrate memoirs. I read from her first book this week to the class. Later, I googled her and thereupon found the latest news! I will the YouTube share with my classes on Monday! They will be so awed by the words of this one person!

I feel so blessed to have known Sindiwe, her process and work! It is amazing and hopeful to know that such an advocate is being heard around the world! The biggest hugs and best wishes!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Happy Queens Birthday!


Happy Queen's Birthday! Sympathy to the dead/injured on this year's anniversary. The act of a deranged person. The Queen spoke to her country well and reassuringly.

My photo of S'Hergertenbosh, April 1988 with the Koningen crown displayed over the street. A big holiday particularly in the small towns/cities.

For centuries, the day men could dress in women's clothes and party in Amsterdam! Such a non-American mentalite. Also read a news feed on new park signs in NL warning of a cruising area ahead. Cruising in m2m ... sex in the bushes. It has been done for centuries, so.... Of course, if this was the USA, we would be discussing end times, faith values.. I love NL although I am a bit big for most girl clothes (hairy as well), I am not too interested in sex standing in the mud and bugs... whoa....
the link: http://www.bilerico.com/2009/04/go_cruising_in_amsterdam.php

I also read about survey results showing many NL youth had their first marijuana smoke in the USA.. not in the legal NL brown cafes filled with the US, British and German tourists).

Issues to share with my family ethics class! Amazing what the parallel process I go through each term! I love it! The students are doing take home exams this week! I also responded to blogs and news feeds involving ethics, family. Wrote a reply to a blog today on problems in m2m land! I have read these problems since the 1970s.. promiscuity, drugs, partying. Not to say there are not problems but hardly to m2m only. Plus this notion of any lgbt community.. people are individuals not a collective. Once again, the family ethics course touched on heterosexual decline of the family, divorce rates, different baby mamas/dads, and I could add annual events such as Spring Break (that has brought swine flu back from Mexico this year), and the usual weekly events such as Ladies Nights.

Maybe I just need a life.. but fascinating reads. I trust the academic sources of course.. CLAGS work, USC, San Francisco State on lgbt issues. Journalism sells papers but knowledge is in the journals and primary data reports.

big hugs, peace, compassion, and a Happy Happy Queens Birthday!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Granddads, family ethics, HiltonPerez


salut to my granddad buddies. saw my long time friend Larry on the street yesterday. He is now a grandfather! I love it! the generations!

salut also to Hilton Perez in questioning the beauty pageant contestant. I tire of people giving condescending ideas on the matter. A person could simply say her opinions are personal. I have students endlessly ask my opinion on everything. I tell them that my opinion is not important. In fact, my opinion could confuse the situation at times. The importance is to be respectful of other people. The challenge is for people to understand the basis for their opinion. Teaching family ethics, we discuss same sex marriage, marriage, adultery, decision to have children.... I love witnessing the students explore the issues.. many times writing about issues in the first disciplined manner. I grade not on the particular view necessarily, but that they use ideas referenced in the texts as well as in our class discussions. That the students at least show some the ability to write about an issue that someone can understand (no hierogyphics thank you)!

The students critiqued my youtube video on my Mom... "remembering our Mom" at my profMike spot on YouTube. Fascinating comments but also interesting to see how people often just assume. My Mom had a life and a complexity. She may be blessed now that she is in "heaven" but she was actively engaged in the issues of her time.. up thru 2006! She loved Obama!

I dont get into the personal issues of my Mom as it is my own subjectivity. She is not around to answer any "charges". Personal issues are that, and the lenses change in context/time. Friends have a range of ideas on issues including gay marriage. Gay friends who cannot fathom why they should get married to hetero friends who are upset as they have never been invited to any gay marriages. I gave $5 today to a young Dad for his daughter's first birthday party! he is not married to the baby's Mother but such a pleasure to see them together with the baby! And that baby... such a joy! A Pentecostal friend just sent a prayer to be prayed and then sent to 12 others.. a Pentecostal friend who is gay and living with his civil union partner. (i love the requests and it is a good prayer, but i dont send these chain letters anymore). People have complexity in their lives.. there are endless ways to think about life!


The religious perspective is one lens, there are civic and moral lenses as well. Theology does not necessarily equal morality. In parts of the world a man can be polygamous yet a married woman is still be stoned to death for being around an unrelated adult male (not even sleeping with him).

Over time I find it interesting how ideas have changed. For instance, abortion was so often adamantly supported in the 1970s in a time when people remembered when abortions were illegal. Women died from illegal abortions. Nowadays I also have to remind some students that all gays are not lovely people wanting to get married. There are civil union dissolutions and I know many a nasty person gay/lesbian/whatever.

The contestant was condescending as her views are irrelevant. I think PerezHilton's question was good as it asked her level of sophistication on the issue. Of course, all these issues are selective. The former Vice President has a daughter who is in a samel sex civil union and is co-parent with her same sex partner. The Bush twins went to a host of same sex weddings. Gay male couples slept together in the George W Bush WhiteHouse. The political posturing has a whole hypocrisy to it.

I believe much of what goes on is also becoming familiar with changes in the politic. People have many more choices in life. One of the security officers at my building is transgender. I rarely see the person but know the officer was upset about using wrong pronouns when being addressed. I dont know what pronoun this person expects, I just use "officer"...

and my buddy Larry the new grandfather is involved in m2m relationships. i never asked about the mother of his daughter, whether his daughter knows.... his daughter loves him is all I know. it was just a delight to hear Larry talk about the joy in his granddaughter!



peace, hugs, compassion

Saturday, April 18, 2009

family and Susan Boyle

photo of Croatian cousins... Chicago 2007! Thanks to cousin Dee!

Wowed by the miracle of Susan Boyle... she may change our world! Like Michael Phelps, we have a person with learning disabilities show the world how to do something! There is the need to be sensitive to the nuances of somewhat vulnerable people and the glare of the snake media... gunning for a scoop, creating drama for better sales figures. Need I say it is a vicious world out there. Already I see some guy insists he dated Susan Boyle.

There is little critical thinking in the everyday world. I remind my students that there are 47 sides to any story; anyone can and does say anything. Life is not a democracy. As Hofstadter so eloquently wrote there is the paranoid style in every politic. Conspiracies and gossip sell media stories.

Susan Boyle is a singer with the voice of an angel. She lives in a small village in northern Scotland, has no computer, knows not the internet. She was the youngest of 9 children and her Mom took special care of her due to her needs. I hope that she has good support from family or others although it is always a risk. She is active in the Catholic church but the church has its own agenda. Was reading a Catholic blog today about Susan Boyle and looking at the anti-Obama ads parked on the site....

When my Mom died she wisely left a will giving equal payments to all of her children. Of course there wound up not being equal distribution as some of her 9 children owed her thousands of dollars, some took more belongings than others.... Some siblings allege comments as their favored status over others, "according to Mom". It is all to be expected. My Mom volunteered with those having psychiatric disabilities.. it was also an outlet for her in handling her children...
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQppEXGoSOk

Since Mom's death, there has been some reapproachment, sensitivity and caring among my Mom's children. We all miss her but we also have each other. A brother took care of handling the distribution of my Mom's estate well. He handle family issues well! He sings in his church choir.. maybe he is next! My sister in Boston just sent me more great green tea and a box of food goodies! My doorperson said "What a great sister!" Another sister phoned me every night when I was in the hospital despite her having a job, a 6year old, a home, a husband, her own needs! Thanks much!

I hope that Susan Boyle finds support and guidance for her in the face of multimillion dollar earnings and fame. I hope she has a great publicist. Just thinking of how NYC/NJ activists could ask her her opinion on gay marriage. There is a certain sophistication living in NYC/NJ that may not exist in her world of Scotland. Of course, the UK does have civil registries and great support for equality in marriges.

I read about Susan's Mom bringing her on pilgrimages to Knock, her Mom was a devout Marian. I know many a devout Marian. My Mom was consecrated to the Virgin Mary at birth and dressed only in blue by her Aunt, a former Carmelite nun (sent home for being too religious). My father whom my Mom divorced after 49 years of marriage leads the rosary in his daily Mass attendance. Religious conviction does not equal concern for others, especially those one disagrees with.

Mother's generally have that unconditional love. Winnicuit's "good enough mothering"! I will always remember seeing my baby picture smiling at the world on my Mom's makeup table.. she looked at me everyday for 52 years! Whoa!!! no one else has nor will (unless I met them today and live to 104, albeit scary to think who wants to gaze at my baby picture everyday besides me.. and my blessed Mother!).

The bottom line is that as a vulnerable person in particular, I pray that Susan gets the support, love and interest in and for her to help change our world! In all simplicity, I love Susan Boyle for the view in which she is changing the lens on what a person can do! Thanks much!

hugs, peace, compassion

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Susan Boyle inspired

thank you Susan Boyle for reminding me and the world of our humanity!

wowed like millions by Susan Boyle's performance, her story is so inspiring. Living in a little Scottish village, in public housing, 47 years, long term unemployed "but still looking", took care of her mother, who died in 2007. Susan felt she had to sing to fulfill the wish of her deceased Mom! A real life story of anyperson to fulfill their dream! The type of person one usually ignores and thinks not much of, too old, nor buffed, sharkish enough. She reminds me of endless people I have known in that song.. "I dreamed a dream". She wanted to sing to a larger group. She took the big leap to her dream and like millions, i am just blown away by the performance!

getting ready for another college reunion this weekend. thinking how the hundreds of us at Columbia with Barack Obama passed him by all the time and who knew that today, such an inspiring President!

so wowed by the inspiring stories! and that voice of an angel, truly!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

many many big wishes for her success and happiness! thanks much for the happiness in your voice and story to share in our world! I know her Mom must be smiling at her from somewhere! We are all smiling at Susan! Love her simple waves of kisses to those she enthralled..... wow! I hope she gets to the end and performs for the Queen. I hope she is invited to meet President and Mrs. Obama! I know she will be offered many a big kiss!

hugs, peace, compassion