charity requires courage but it is what makes us human

End of the day giving thanks to understand that charity and compassion is what makes us all human. The idea of caregiving I learned particularly in reading Ann Burack-Weiss. "True charity requires courage: let us overcome the fear of getting our hands dirty so as to help those in need" -Pope Francis

My Mom would so love Pope Francis. She was born on the birthdate of her favorite Pope, John XXIII. I have the mass card she kept of his papacy.  What more can I say about a Mom who was the first person ever thanked by her County and the State of New Jersey for just listening to people with special needs, those most of us run away from. 

This past year I have been blessed to see the love between my Dad and a brother with special needs as they slowly said goodbye in our Dad's fight with Alzheimers. I asked over 200 people to get a ride and finally wonderful journeys. 


Thank you for parents that I witnessed rally to show love, charity and compassion for others. Proud that they loved me.

Thinking of the son of a neighbor who died about a year ago. He was so crippled but he was the biggest help in her eyes. Thank you universe that I knew him and always have that memory of their family.

carpe diem in la manana

remembering Dad, bonding anew All Saints/All Souls

with the oncoming death of our Dad I found myself reading Dante again.. the wonderful passage into a world beyond the living.. with the passing our Dad now the prayers I say for him and these days the feasts of All Saints and All Souls. http://www.catholic.org/saints/allsouls/

so thankful I could visit the grave of our Mom and think of Dad and our sister this All Saints/All Souls. http://ncronline.org/blogs/francis-chronicles/all-saints-all-souls-feasts-are-time-renew-hope-pope-says

in the course of our lives, the bonding moments.. today motoring with my neighbor and brother to the town where my Dad, Mom and sister, now all dead lived. Absolutely gorgeous colors and blue skies after a brief tornado-ish wind storming getting out of Newark. Visited the gravesite of our Mom, gorgeous tombstone but alone sans flowers.. no one left to leave them now but for occasional visitors. It is akin to her family heimat in Chicago, a dynasty diasporied. Just two weeks ago the three of us went to see Dad in the hospice. an incredible now revisiting our pasts and moving into tomorrows. thank you universe for these moments. — going to Newton NJ

a friend emailed the time of this reality.. "I got your message and you are more than welcome.  Please enjoy!   This is a tough time for you and your family and the loss was profound.  You have an arduous task ahead as you go through your father's belongings and render keep sakes.  Blessings and we will speak soon."

Caregiving revisited

In my bibliography:

Memoir is in the content analysis family and is an unobtrusive generally qualitative method of research. Qualitative meaning that the data is essentially non numerical in data collection and analysis. The variables are predominately nominal.

"The  Caregiver's Tale" is in my bibliography as Dr. Burack-Weiss was one of my Columbia University professors. She volunteered in a program that I helped to initiate, a shelter for homeless women who were non-compliant with psychiatric treatment.  She created a weekly group for women to talk about whatever. I am totally biased in terms of the researcher.  Dr Burack-Weiss has had a long history of helping through her work at the Jewish Home for the Aged, and being among the first volunteers at the Gay Men's Health Crisis. 

In her project, Dr. Burack-Weiss created the independent variables of caregiving situation and relationship out of an inductive process of reading through memoirs. I knew several of the memoirs and a favorite author Paul Monette was included in her sample. She has that heuristic sense of what works from the breadth and depth of her experience.  The hypothesis is that these variables inform the caregiving situation. The variables are nominal: how can one rank alzheimer's or AIDS, or a child with a neurological disability. They could be ranked perhaps in terms of cost, years to caregive, other variables, but as a distinct variable, the situations and relationships have no order. The memoirs have a detailed highly individual quality to them that gives meaning to caregiving and to the paradigm.

Lucid Dreaming

The structures of lucid dreaming: timelines, sounds, visuals, feelings.. Reading "Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" again. The best book on how to meditate, understanding the inner process when one dies, doing phowa, dream consciousness. 

Anoche, involved in 1912, 1945, 1953, 1987 Berlin (at least in Wilhelmine buildings and the Anhalt Hauptbahnhof). Time travelling with Mrs. von Ameringen, a Brigitte Mira lookalike, in sort of a spy/adventure dream.. figuring out who wanted to "silence" von Ameringen. I love the films of Brigitte Mira especially her work with El Hedi ben Salem!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/2005/mar/25/guardianobituaries.filmnews